Yes, I track astrology. But I also have an engineering degree and an MBA from a top school. Just consider me avant-guarde. In addition, an astrologer told me a long time ago that Hygiea - the goddess of health and an asteroid - is oppose my sun at 24.33 Degrees Taurus. What this means in real terms is either I will be ultra healthy or I will have problems. Basically, when I am with the program I am fine, but when I am not with the program what I am going through now happens. Instead of giving my poor friends and coworkers an earful, I am blogging it. I may eventually open this up for comments, but for now I am just trying to understand, explain and heal my experience. I want my health back.
My knee is better. It is still swollen, it is still tender, but it is better. I have been doing some research and making some changes, which I will report here, but I did want to state up front that I am seeing slow progress. The crises where I could barely walk seems to be improving.
I have symptoms of tendonitis and osteoarthritis, plus other things. I know that I should not be self diagnosing, and that I need to see a doctor, but it took a while to choose what type of doctor. I think I am going to make an appointment with an orthopedic doctor who specializes in sports medicine. I do not want surgery, but I want someone who understands both the soft tissue and the bones. I did a lot of searching last night, and I have a few names now. I will be making some phone calls to set up an appointment, and I will give an additional update on that in a later post.
I have revealed my secret identity to a friend from work during a bathroom conversation (ladies always talk to each other in the bathroom). She had some health related issues a few weeks back that I was able to help with via a bathroom conversation, and what I told her to do worked. I told her about my challenges, and we had a good laugh. I told her about the blog as me needing a forum to talk about this. I need a place where it is safe to say what needs to be said. I could send her a weblink just because. However, we build these things slowly, and I am just now testing my wings as a writer. I have to watch the tendency to perform for an audience (which I do) as I would prefer to be perfectly honest about what I am going through here on this forum, without it disintegration into a rant. That said, I may blog for a while and then send this out to a few who could use the love.
From the reading I have done, I need to loose the weight. I am starting at 162 pounds, and I am told by several calculators on Dan's health food stores that my ideal weight range is 121lbs-135lbs. This keys into all my self worth fears, but I am reassuring myself that just because I will get back to my ideal weight does not mean that I am weak, small and vulnerable. It means I will need to take up strength training and a self defense class, and possibly Ai-Ki-Do if my joints allow. Ai-Ki-Do as I seem to be able to see patterns of energy, and they honor that. I don't want to overpower anyone, I want to protect myself and live my life. Back to that Aries lesson I have - but that is another story.
So, from all the research I have done so far, this is what I have.
If you are overweight, the overweight will aggravate the knee swelling. It is important to get into your normal weight range if you have an osteo-arthritis process starting. By getting back to your ideal weight the pressure on the joint will be reduced, and this will slow the loss of cartilage and will relieve the pain. The most important thing you can do if you have osteo-arthritis or an osteo-arthritis process starting is to get into your normal weight range.
I have an inflammation process in the knee, and all the symptoms of tendonitis. I also have rosacea, cholesterol, borderline high blood sugar. I have done an anti-inflammation diet before, and from all the reading I have done on my kneed, I realized I needed to do an anti-inflammation diet again. I will not give up on coffee but I will cut back on other things. The chocolate I ate the other day seems to have aggravated it.
Proteolytic Enzymes help with the symptoms of inflammation.
So for the time being
No Dairy
No Nightshades
Nothing Fried
No Meat (Red Meat or Pork)
Nothing processed (within reason)
Avoiding Sugar, chocolate, eggs, gluten
Eating plenty of fruit, vegetables, tree nuts, sensible carbs (like rice).
I have eaten so much fruit this week and vegetables, and I am really not hungry.
I will keep you posted.
It is better, not perfect, but I am able to walk better now.
Some useful websites
http://www.thestretchinghandbook.com/archives/patellar-tendonitis.php
http://www.orthoseek.com/articles/chondromp.html
"A non-steroidal anti-inflammatory medication like Motrin is often prescribed by your physician. This is taken regularly, whether you feel pain or not. By decreasing the inflammation, the pain is often reduced. But not only that, there is some evidence to suggest that the drug actually helps in reforming the articular cartilage."
http://www.arthritis-treatment-and-relief.com/sports-rehab-patellar-tendonitis.html
Dr Wei wrote this article and I have copied it extensively here. I did not write these words, and you can find the original source information at the weblink above. Finding this was a god send, as these are my symptoms, and I do have an over-pronation of the foot.
"Patellar tendonitis can also occur in people who have alignment problems in their legs. This alignment problem can result from having wide hips, being knock-kneed, or having feet that roll inward when you walk or run (over-pronation). " -
"Symptoms are:
• pain and tenderness involving the patellar tendon
• swelling in the knee joint or swelling where the patellar tendon attaches to the tibia
• pain with jumping, running, or walking, especially when going downhill or downstairs
• pain with flexing or extending (bending or straightening) the leg
• tenderness behind the kneecap.
"If the tendon ruptures, there is sudden severe pain with inability to straighten the leg.
"The diagnosis is suspected when there is tenderness at the patellar tendon. The pain is increased with running, jumping, or squatting. The feet should be checked for over-pronation. MRI of your knee may confirm the diagnosis. "The article is worth reading and Pierre Rouzier, M.D., for McKesson Clinical Reference Systems is also credited.
All the best,
Kat
Friday, February 18, 2011
Saturday, February 12, 2011
Back to personal accountability again, Knees Please
Some interesting Websites
http://www.arthritisresearchuk.org/arthritis_information/arthritis__daily_life/sports_injuries.aspx#non
I was such an athlete when younger, and a stickler about my health. I don't know what happened. Maybe I got lazy, or disillusioned, or tired, but I quit being a stickler and now I am suffering the consequences. I was climbing towers all week for my job, and I was in the deep south which was in the deep freeze, but as a result my left knee is swollen to twice the size of my right knee, and all the reading I am doing is scaring the crap out of me. I suppose this means it is time to get back with the program.
Maybe this was about fitting in. The desire to be loved and to fit in has been the bane of my existence. A wise old astrologer once told me that nope, it would never happen. Why? Uranus square Sun. So this peace loving Taurus periodically goes through revolution. Fine. I have learned to recognize signs and symptoms so it can be an even keeled change instead of things blowing up. Seems to me that things blow up when I refuse to acknowledge what I need to do. Geez-Louise. A life long reading task I suppose. Back to the knees. Maybe I carry the weight to feel protected as a life long empath - but there are better ways. Back to learning about energy and empowerment.
I am linking several good websites I found this morning. From the reading I have done, seems that the best thing I could do for Osteoarthritis is to loose the weight. Still at 162 pounds, and I went to David's Health Food store and did some reading. He has some wonderful calculators, and I have linked them for you. Apparently for a medium frame the normal weight is 121 pounds to 135 pounds. My BMI is 27, which puts me solidly in the overweight category; my normal BMI (Body Mass Index) would be in the 18.5 to 24.9 range. I also reread things I knew years ago, and here I am circling around again. An Anti-Inflammation diet will help with weight loss and joint pain, and I pulled out Dr. Perricones book again (very good book) to read up. I am also reviewing my "Fit for Life" Book. Dr Mehmet Oz has written eloquently on the subject, and I pulled out some of the information form that as well. There are no easy fixes are there, but when three different people or sources of information repeat the same thing to you over and over, it is time to pay attention is it not? The nice thing about following an anti-inflammation diet, is it will increase mental clarity. So, although I may give up the "French Frie" I do not have to immediately give up the potato (whole food). I do know however, that Potatoes are a night shade, and nightshades and milk (dairy) are linked to inflammation and aggravating arthritis.
I am not into being hungry. It is a scary thing. I am however, willing to eat the right things. The right things are fruits, vegetables, tree nut, legumes, rice. Fish or Chicken instead of red meat and pork. I think this all takes planning however, and that is what I have to think through.
I am off to buy Proteolytic Enzymes (Bromelein) - which have been shown to help with joint flare up and knee problems. I also have to find a doctor I suppose. But the first thing he will do is to tell me to loose the weight. My theory is I took a fall in November, aggravate and hurt the knee, I have not been eating right lately but have been eating for comfort and emotional nourishment, which never works, so this is all linked to some of these big changes I need to make in my life. Where I live and how I am earning a living. This goes back to stepping up to my leadership abilities, which brings me back to my power issues, which circles me back around for my need for mental clarity on the subject.
I refuse to say I am giving up everything permanently, but I can say I can be good for six to seven weeks to help the swelling go down while I look for a doctor. Watch for further posts on my emotions toward all this, as they will be there, but the thing I need to keep repeating, and what I knew so well when young is food is for nourishment, not to fix your problems. Your problems have to be fixed through your actions, efforts and goals, and it is what it is. I did not write the ground rules, I simply have to figure out what they are, and live in a health way. Now off to David's Health Food store in Columbia - it looks great.
I will update this post later - but for now enjoy the articles I have linked.
http://healthlibrary.epnet.com/GetContent.aspx?token=e0498803-7f62-4563-8d47-5fe33da65dd4&chunkiid=21671
David's Health Assessment tools
http://www.davidsnaturalmarket.com/common/adam/HealthTools.asp?storeID=CF1D83C59A914DEEB1F49F78C9BE5747
http://www.davidsnaturalmarket.com/common/adam/DisplayMonograph.asp?storeID=CF1D83C59A914DEEB1F49F78C9BE5747&DocID=33_000163
The one about Diabetes and tendinitis scared the crap out of me. My fasting blood sugar one year ago was 100. Not prediabetic yet, but borderline. Once again, I have to pay attention to what I eat and to what I weigh. This blog I suppose is to help with feeling like I am not so alone in this, and to take my power back.
http://ard.bmj.com/content/48/3/211.abstract
http://books.google.com/books?id=HoK997rgO-4C&pg=PA145&lpg=PA145&dq=knee+doctor+enzymes&source=bl&ots=0a8WyJJ7Je&sig=qsFY1K9_ksr5eJ7VSQv65fkl24E&hl=en&ei=ZoJWTeSdIsSblgf7u4HqBw&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=1&ved=0CBoQ6AEwAA#v=onepage&q=knee%20doctor%20enzymes&f=false
http://www.umm.edu/altmed/articles/tendinitis-000163.htm
The University of Maryland has a great complementary medicine web page, and finding this gives me hope about maybe staying in Maryland.
From the webpage
These are my symptoms. Hm....guess it is time to see a doctor.
I can make these changes, I simply have to know what they are and follow through. Sometimes we have to learn to stand alone in order to set a good example. A lot of people look up to me for whatever reason. I seem to have lost my mojo (Mars) for a bit - I am going to bring him back. Jupiter is in Aries now, so that should help.
All the best,
Kat
http://www.arthritisresearchuk.org/arthritis_information/arthritis__daily_life/sports_injuries.aspx#non
I was such an athlete when younger, and a stickler about my health. I don't know what happened. Maybe I got lazy, or disillusioned, or tired, but I quit being a stickler and now I am suffering the consequences. I was climbing towers all week for my job, and I was in the deep south which was in the deep freeze, but as a result my left knee is swollen to twice the size of my right knee, and all the reading I am doing is scaring the crap out of me. I suppose this means it is time to get back with the program.
Maybe this was about fitting in. The desire to be loved and to fit in has been the bane of my existence. A wise old astrologer once told me that nope, it would never happen. Why? Uranus square Sun. So this peace loving Taurus periodically goes through revolution. Fine. I have learned to recognize signs and symptoms so it can be an even keeled change instead of things blowing up. Seems to me that things blow up when I refuse to acknowledge what I need to do. Geez-Louise. A life long reading task I suppose. Back to the knees. Maybe I carry the weight to feel protected as a life long empath - but there are better ways. Back to learning about energy and empowerment.
I am linking several good websites I found this morning. From the reading I have done, seems that the best thing I could do for Osteoarthritis is to loose the weight. Still at 162 pounds, and I went to David's Health Food store and did some reading. He has some wonderful calculators, and I have linked them for you. Apparently for a medium frame the normal weight is 121 pounds to 135 pounds. My BMI is 27, which puts me solidly in the overweight category; my normal BMI (Body Mass Index) would be in the 18.5 to 24.9 range. I also reread things I knew years ago, and here I am circling around again. An Anti-Inflammation diet will help with weight loss and joint pain, and I pulled out Dr. Perricones book again (very good book) to read up. I am also reviewing my "Fit for Life" Book. Dr Mehmet Oz has written eloquently on the subject, and I pulled out some of the information form that as well. There are no easy fixes are there, but when three different people or sources of information repeat the same thing to you over and over, it is time to pay attention is it not? The nice thing about following an anti-inflammation diet, is it will increase mental clarity. So, although I may give up the "French Frie" I do not have to immediately give up the potato (whole food). I do know however, that Potatoes are a night shade, and nightshades and milk (dairy) are linked to inflammation and aggravating arthritis.
I am not into being hungry. It is a scary thing. I am however, willing to eat the right things. The right things are fruits, vegetables, tree nut, legumes, rice. Fish or Chicken instead of red meat and pork. I think this all takes planning however, and that is what I have to think through.
I am off to buy Proteolytic Enzymes (Bromelein) - which have been shown to help with joint flare up and knee problems. I also have to find a doctor I suppose. But the first thing he will do is to tell me to loose the weight. My theory is I took a fall in November, aggravate and hurt the knee, I have not been eating right lately but have been eating for comfort and emotional nourishment, which never works, so this is all linked to some of these big changes I need to make in my life. Where I live and how I am earning a living. This goes back to stepping up to my leadership abilities, which brings me back to my power issues, which circles me back around for my need for mental clarity on the subject.
I refuse to say I am giving up everything permanently, but I can say I can be good for six to seven weeks to help the swelling go down while I look for a doctor. Watch for further posts on my emotions toward all this, as they will be there, but the thing I need to keep repeating, and what I knew so well when young is food is for nourishment, not to fix your problems. Your problems have to be fixed through your actions, efforts and goals, and it is what it is. I did not write the ground rules, I simply have to figure out what they are, and live in a health way. Now off to David's Health Food store in Columbia - it looks great.
I will update this post later - but for now enjoy the articles I have linked.
http://healthlibrary.epnet.com/GetContent.aspx?token=e0498803-7f62-4563-8d47-5fe33da65dd4&chunkiid=21671
David's Health Assessment tools
http://www.davidsnaturalmarket.com/common/adam/HealthTools.asp?storeID=CF1D83C59A914DEEB1F49F78C9BE5747
http://www.davidsnaturalmarket.com/common/adam/DisplayMonograph.asp?storeID=CF1D83C59A914DEEB1F49F78C9BE5747&DocID=33_000163
The one about Diabetes and tendinitis scared the crap out of me. My fasting blood sugar one year ago was 100. Not prediabetic yet, but borderline. Once again, I have to pay attention to what I eat and to what I weigh. This blog I suppose is to help with feeling like I am not so alone in this, and to take my power back.
http://ard.bmj.com/content/48/3/211.abstract
http://books.google.com/books?id=HoK997rgO-4C&pg=PA145&lpg=PA145&dq=knee+doctor+enzymes&source=bl&ots=0a8WyJJ7Je&sig=qsFY1K9_ksr5eJ7VSQv65fkl24E&hl=en&ei=ZoJWTeSdIsSblgf7u4HqBw&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=1&ved=0CBoQ6AEwAA#v=onepage&q=knee%20doctor%20enzymes&f=false
http://www.umm.edu/altmed/articles/tendinitis-000163.htm
The University of Maryland has a great complementary medicine web page, and finding this gives me hope about maybe staying in Maryland.
From the webpage
Signs and Symptoms:
- Swelling
- Tenderness
- Pain that gets worse when you move the affected limb
- Warmth and redness
- Crepitus (crackling)
I can make these changes, I simply have to know what they are and follow through. Sometimes we have to learn to stand alone in order to set a good example. A lot of people look up to me for whatever reason. I seem to have lost my mojo (Mars) for a bit - I am going to bring him back. Jupiter is in Aries now, so that should help.
All the best,
Kat
Monday, February 7, 2011
Future Articles, the Flood Gates have Opened
It is my belief that every human being has health as their birthright, but that this has to be earned.
I believe we will discover connections to DNA for our differences and underlying health issues.
Future Blog posts will include
Gluten
The importance of building muscle for weight loss
Astrological Mandala
Why you have to stay with what works for you, as we are all unique
Venus, Five and the Apple
Why keeping Mars happy is important
Websites I visit frequently
Why I don't pretend to know everything
Updates on Dietary options
Why Milk may not be so good for you
The importance of keeping a dream journal
Meditation, Chiron, Empath, Be here now, Energy in the Feet, Breathing Deep, and loving ancestors who were warriors
Loving Money and relating it to a high value system
Healing is dealing with Feeling
Directed energy is important
More to come
"It is not about the Money" and "What Matters Most" as two important books
Why understanding my own life journey was helpful
I believe we will discover connections to DNA for our differences and underlying health issues.
Future Blog posts will include
Gluten
The importance of building muscle for weight loss
Astrological Mandala
Why you have to stay with what works for you, as we are all unique
Venus, Five and the Apple
Why keeping Mars happy is important
Websites I visit frequently
Why I don't pretend to know everything
Updates on Dietary options
Why Milk may not be so good for you
The importance of keeping a dream journal
Meditation, Chiron, Empath, Be here now, Energy in the Feet, Breathing Deep, and loving ancestors who were warriors
Loving Money and relating it to a high value system
Healing is dealing with Feeling
Directed energy is important
More to come
"It is not about the Money" and "What Matters Most" as two important books
Why understanding my own life journey was helpful
Remember These?
http://dollreference.com/dd_flowerdarlings1968a.html
Circa 1960's. I had a Lily of the Valley Doll as I was a Taurus.
Circa 1960's. I had a Lily of the Valley Doll as I was a Taurus.
Knees Please, Dr Mehmet Oz
I read an article by Dr. Mehmet Oz in Parade Magazine that was published in the time frame of December 2009 / January 2010. He stated that to begin on the journey of health, one should eat four fruits and five vegetables every day, as well as a tree nut, a carbohydrate and a protein. A serving size is around the size of your fist.
When I eat like that, I do feel better, and I am not hungry.
When I eat like that, I do feel better, and I am not hungry.
Knees Please
I am not sure how I will manage this particular blog. There is a certain safety in being hidden as then you can be truthful. However, I am not a believer in flamers under the guard of being secretive, as that shows a lack of integrity. That said, I suppose, this will be about a personal journey from point A to point B.
I was told by a wise woman, an older woman, an astrologer, that I needed to start writing now. She instructed me to begin with essays as I had something I was supposed to teach, and the way I would teach it was through writing about it. Being unsure of myself, I have hesitated, but now I do have something to write about; health and wellness. It has come to my attention in a painful way that I need to pay attention to what is going on with my knees. It is past due time to shed 30 pounds, and that is bringing up all sorts of issues of insecurity. I did a lot of research yesterday on the web due to a healing crises with my left knee. The pain goes from the knee down to the ankle and up to the hip. Of course, this scares the crap out of me. I turn 50 in May, and as much I hate to admit it, I can no longer fudge the way I used to. The joints are starting to go.
The injury began over the last few yeasr and it was aggravated by several circumstances. I have fallen twice in the last year due to lack of attention. Both times, the left knee was injured. The current weight of 162 pounds at 5'5" is aggravating the condition. I went onto CaloriesCount through http://www.about.com/ yesterday and found out that my ideal weight for my height should be 132 pounds. That is 30 pounds to loose. I am sure my joints will be much happier if it is gone, but then that brings up all my issues of safety and being in the world, fear, and ultimately owning my own personal power. Hence the journey. The weight is not about the weight, the weight is about what it represents. Research into BMI - Body Mass Index - revealed that I was in the "overweight Zone" and the normal BMI range would be 118 pounds to 140 pounds.
There were other things. My foot pronates, and my collapsing arch seems to be taking my knee and hip with it. I am probably also out of alignment as I carried my sister on this hip the first three years of her life, and my ages 9 through 12. No 9 year old should have been carrying a baby around on her hip, and my knee is permanently damaged to prove it. A conversation with a close male friend led me to buy arch supports on Saturday, and it did offer some blessed relief. He also thinks I need to mix it up with the shoes, as some have arch support, and my shoes are probably aggravating the situation. An inspection of four year old sneakers revealed the nubs had been worn down, so it is time for a new pair that support my ankle, knee and leg. He also stated that there should be no more impact exercise until this knee problem is resolved; he highly recommends elliptical or bicycle. I will also do pilates to build muscle, as apparently muscle supports the knee and keeps it healthy.
I went to a business happy hour on Thursday, drank three glasses of wine, and neglected to eat enough. My knee was killing me the next day. Further research on the web revealed that alcohol aggravates joint problems, and if you want to heal the joints, you have to quit drinking. Who knew? I don't drink that often, but I did enjoy the occasional wine. Until the knees are fixed, Au Revoir. However, when I do visit France later this year, I will need to step back from that position a bit.
I will post all relevant websites, and I will also document my progress. Part of the inability to loose the weight has been due to fear, irrational fears, which if I think I can shine the light of day on them with reason and knowledge will be helped along in their healing. All I know is Friday and Saturday, my knee had ballooned up, and I could barely walk. I am not ready for disintegration, but to rebuild, and to rebuild I have to take responsibility and be held to account. Part of that is loosing the thirty pounds.
The other missing piece of the puzzle, is I was practically anorexic in highschool (we had a flirtation going, I never went full blown). A lovely Jewish Mother in Venezuela took one look at me the summer between my Junior and Senior year of High School and said "We need to fatten you up". And she did. I was on an exchange program, and being pulled out of my hyper competitive mindset did the trick. I have been afraid to go on restrictive diets, as I don't want to flirt with anorexia again, but by swinging the other way my knees and heart are suffering, and I am now flirting with Diabetes.
Calorie Count at http://www.about.com/ will give you a nutritional and calorie analysis of what you eat, so I am going to approach this from the perspective of positive nutrition, and work through my fears. I would like to inhabit this body another thirty five years, and in order to do so I must take care of it. Part of taking care of your body is taking care of your joints. Calorie Count tells me I should be at 132 pounds. My aching hip and knee tell me that as well. I hate starving so I will eat, but I think the point is to be mindful of the "What" that I eat, and to get rid of all empty calories. Once I get to 132 pounds then I have to figure out how to maintain it. One goal at a time however, and I will learn how to cross that bridge when I come to it. For the moment my joints are complaining, and I must attend to it or the consequences are dire. I am not into surgery and drugs.
I had blood work last year showing that my blood sugar was high, but not preDiabetic yet. The blood work also showed that my cholesterol was high. I don't want to go on statins, but the loss of this thirty pounds upon which I am about to embark, has been coming for a while. The knee and hip crises of the weekend was the tipping point.
Another key learning I had yesterday, which I do not believe pertains to me, is there is actually something called "Vascular Necrosis" brought on by heavy drinking (which I am not) which will actually kill joints such as hips. Who knew?
I will keep you posted by weekly posts as this progresses, and maybe even more. My key learnings I will document here. My main goal is to be healthy again.
I have studied astrology and Jung for years, and it is interesting to me that Pluto and Venus will conjunct at 6 degrees Capricorn this Thursday February 10, 2011. This is either in my fifth house or in my sixth house, depending on what house system you look at. I have known for a while that when Pluto started to edge toward the sixth house, I would be asked, mandated, to transform my health and my work. I have learned the hard way to "Be Here Now", but this is the playing field and where it happens. So let me decide to embrace my health and to be active in that. Pluto and Venus make a lovely trine to my Pluto in Virgo conjuncting the North Node in the second house, so I am loved and supported in my desire for health and healing.
The motto for Virgo that helps me to remember is "Keep the Good, Get rid of the Bad, Advance evolve progress." The Gods/Goddesses ask this of me. Capricorn rules the knees, and it is time for me to pay attention.
Wish me luck, and have a wonderful day.
I was told by a wise woman, an older woman, an astrologer, that I needed to start writing now. She instructed me to begin with essays as I had something I was supposed to teach, and the way I would teach it was through writing about it. Being unsure of myself, I have hesitated, but now I do have something to write about; health and wellness. It has come to my attention in a painful way that I need to pay attention to what is going on with my knees. It is past due time to shed 30 pounds, and that is bringing up all sorts of issues of insecurity. I did a lot of research yesterday on the web due to a healing crises with my left knee. The pain goes from the knee down to the ankle and up to the hip. Of course, this scares the crap out of me. I turn 50 in May, and as much I hate to admit it, I can no longer fudge the way I used to. The joints are starting to go.
The injury began over the last few yeasr and it was aggravated by several circumstances. I have fallen twice in the last year due to lack of attention. Both times, the left knee was injured. The current weight of 162 pounds at 5'5" is aggravating the condition. I went onto CaloriesCount through http://www.about.com/ yesterday and found out that my ideal weight for my height should be 132 pounds. That is 30 pounds to loose. I am sure my joints will be much happier if it is gone, but then that brings up all my issues of safety and being in the world, fear, and ultimately owning my own personal power. Hence the journey. The weight is not about the weight, the weight is about what it represents. Research into BMI - Body Mass Index - revealed that I was in the "overweight Zone" and the normal BMI range would be 118 pounds to 140 pounds.
There were other things. My foot pronates, and my collapsing arch seems to be taking my knee and hip with it. I am probably also out of alignment as I carried my sister on this hip the first three years of her life, and my ages 9 through 12. No 9 year old should have been carrying a baby around on her hip, and my knee is permanently damaged to prove it. A conversation with a close male friend led me to buy arch supports on Saturday, and it did offer some blessed relief. He also thinks I need to mix it up with the shoes, as some have arch support, and my shoes are probably aggravating the situation. An inspection of four year old sneakers revealed the nubs had been worn down, so it is time for a new pair that support my ankle, knee and leg. He also stated that there should be no more impact exercise until this knee problem is resolved; he highly recommends elliptical or bicycle. I will also do pilates to build muscle, as apparently muscle supports the knee and keeps it healthy.
I went to a business happy hour on Thursday, drank three glasses of wine, and neglected to eat enough. My knee was killing me the next day. Further research on the web revealed that alcohol aggravates joint problems, and if you want to heal the joints, you have to quit drinking. Who knew? I don't drink that often, but I did enjoy the occasional wine. Until the knees are fixed, Au Revoir. However, when I do visit France later this year, I will need to step back from that position a bit.
I will post all relevant websites, and I will also document my progress. Part of the inability to loose the weight has been due to fear, irrational fears, which if I think I can shine the light of day on them with reason and knowledge will be helped along in their healing. All I know is Friday and Saturday, my knee had ballooned up, and I could barely walk. I am not ready for disintegration, but to rebuild, and to rebuild I have to take responsibility and be held to account. Part of that is loosing the thirty pounds.
The other missing piece of the puzzle, is I was practically anorexic in highschool (we had a flirtation going, I never went full blown). A lovely Jewish Mother in Venezuela took one look at me the summer between my Junior and Senior year of High School and said "We need to fatten you up". And she did. I was on an exchange program, and being pulled out of my hyper competitive mindset did the trick. I have been afraid to go on restrictive diets, as I don't want to flirt with anorexia again, but by swinging the other way my knees and heart are suffering, and I am now flirting with Diabetes.
Calorie Count at http://www.about.com/ will give you a nutritional and calorie analysis of what you eat, so I am going to approach this from the perspective of positive nutrition, and work through my fears. I would like to inhabit this body another thirty five years, and in order to do so I must take care of it. Part of taking care of your body is taking care of your joints. Calorie Count tells me I should be at 132 pounds. My aching hip and knee tell me that as well. I hate starving so I will eat, but I think the point is to be mindful of the "What" that I eat, and to get rid of all empty calories. Once I get to 132 pounds then I have to figure out how to maintain it. One goal at a time however, and I will learn how to cross that bridge when I come to it. For the moment my joints are complaining, and I must attend to it or the consequences are dire. I am not into surgery and drugs.
I had blood work last year showing that my blood sugar was high, but not preDiabetic yet. The blood work also showed that my cholesterol was high. I don't want to go on statins, but the loss of this thirty pounds upon which I am about to embark, has been coming for a while. The knee and hip crises of the weekend was the tipping point.
Another key learning I had yesterday, which I do not believe pertains to me, is there is actually something called "Vascular Necrosis" brought on by heavy drinking (which I am not) which will actually kill joints such as hips. Who knew?
I will keep you posted by weekly posts as this progresses, and maybe even more. My key learnings I will document here. My main goal is to be healthy again.
I have studied astrology and Jung for years, and it is interesting to me that Pluto and Venus will conjunct at 6 degrees Capricorn this Thursday February 10, 2011. This is either in my fifth house or in my sixth house, depending on what house system you look at. I have known for a while that when Pluto started to edge toward the sixth house, I would be asked, mandated, to transform my health and my work. I have learned the hard way to "Be Here Now", but this is the playing field and where it happens. So let me decide to embrace my health and to be active in that. Pluto and Venus make a lovely trine to my Pluto in Virgo conjuncting the North Node in the second house, so I am loved and supported in my desire for health and healing.
The motto for Virgo that helps me to remember is "Keep the Good, Get rid of the Bad, Advance evolve progress." The Gods/Goddesses ask this of me. Capricorn rules the knees, and it is time for me to pay attention.
Wish me luck, and have a wonderful day.
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